Untitled by Aasmo Deus
Charlene ran for the train, heart pounding in her heaving bosom to the rhythm of her feet pounding on the heaving pavement. Frost heaves, of course, for this was Southern Michigan, where the snow blowers were just glad their owners didn't live in Northern Michigan.
"Toot, toot!" the train chastised her, mockingly, as it chug-chugged out of the station slowly, mockingly, teasingly beckoning her to just... run... a little... more. The sun was setting, this was no time to be waiting at the dock station alone, not when you were a 35-year old blonde bombshell glistening with exertion. The sun was setting, it was revealing her slipless figure to the gentleman of the night waiting in the dark corner of the five and dime newsstand where everybody got their paper and joe, but nobody got the news or slaked their never-ending thirst.
"Damnittohell!" Charlene muttered under her husky breath, sounding like a phone sex operator. It was husky from three packs a day. Tomorrow, she would tell herself each day, tomorrow I go cold turkey. Trouble was, she didn't know where Turkey was, so she was never going to make it there. She was also a vegetarian, which is why she settled, disgruntled, on a station bench and opened up her Insta-Heat can of vegetable broth with Soy Protein. If only that bastard ex of hers hadn't completely turned her off to meat, with those "issues" of his, she might still be able to hold down a nice juicy piece of beef. Oh God, the thought of it almost made her retch right on the gentleman's shoes.
"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you missed your train. It wouldn't be safe here after dark; may I offer you a ride home?" he asked in such a calm silvery baritone. She could melt into that voice, melt... like butter. Before he could catch her distraction out in left field, she gathered her remaining wits and responded huskily, "I hardly know you, sir, I could not accept your offer. Although I really would rather not be stuck here after dark."
She didn't wish to regurgitate the news, but what most frightened her was the recent news flash about a murder streak. Blondes, all of them. Husky voices, all of them. Vegetarians. All of them. How did the murderer know? How could he? Could this guy be him? No, he wouldn't be so suave, so well-mannered. Would he? Was this how he lured his husky blonde vegetarians to their imminent doom?
"Toot, toot!" the train chastised her, mockingly, as it chug-chugged out of the station slowly, mockingly, teasingly beckoning her to just... run... a little... more. The sun was setting, this was no time to be waiting at the dock station alone, not when you were a 35-year old blonde bombshell glistening with exertion. The sun was setting, it was revealing her slipless figure to the gentleman of the night waiting in the dark corner of the five and dime newsstand where everybody got their paper and joe, but nobody got the news or slaked their never-ending thirst.
"Damnittohell!" Charlene muttered under her husky breath, sounding like a phone sex operator. It was husky from three packs a day. Tomorrow, she would tell herself each day, tomorrow I go cold turkey. Trouble was, she didn't know where Turkey was, so she was never going to make it there. She was also a vegetarian, which is why she settled, disgruntled, on a station bench and opened up her Insta-Heat can of vegetable broth with Soy Protein. If only that bastard ex of hers hadn't completely turned her off to meat, with those "issues" of his, she might still be able to hold down a nice juicy piece of beef. Oh God, the thought of it almost made her retch right on the gentleman's shoes.
"Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you missed your train. It wouldn't be safe here after dark; may I offer you a ride home?" he asked in such a calm silvery baritone. She could melt into that voice, melt... like butter. Before he could catch her distraction out in left field, she gathered her remaining wits and responded huskily, "I hardly know you, sir, I could not accept your offer. Although I really would rather not be stuck here after dark."
She didn't wish to regurgitate the news, but what most frightened her was the recent news flash about a murder streak. Blondes, all of them. Husky voices, all of them. Vegetarians. All of them. How did the murderer know? How could he? Could this guy be him? No, he wouldn't be so suave, so well-mannered. Would he? Was this how he lured his husky blonde vegetarians to their imminent doom?
posted by Craig at 12:00 PM
4 Comments:
That's agood one.
Plucky and quirky!
Don't sell yourself short. You've got a lot of good things going in here. I could tell you had fun writing it and that transferred to me, the reader.
Personally, I've never been able to write short shorts, like this one. I always failed the exercises in school where they tell you introduce a character and set up a scene in 500 words or less. Me? By 500 words, you know all about my character's third grade teacher but nothing about him or what's going on.
But what happens in the end? We need to know, godammit!
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